A story of hope that was submitted by one of our Christian brothers:

My name is: shame, regret, pain, dirty, failure, angry, hated, and forgotten. My life was full of valleys and with no mountains in view. I did not see something good in a long time until I thought it did not exist. My account starts out like everybody else. For five years of my existence I was the typical child. At that moment, life got in the way and started changing.

When I was five I watched my grandfather take his last breath. Three short months later, at the same age, my dad passed away. He died from a complication from suicide. I was not a “normal” child after that. I sat by myself on the ground during P.E. watching the other children play pleading to God to just notify them I loved them.

That is way too much for a five-year old to handle all by himself. I started getting depressed and attempted suicide. My heart was totally broken and nobody would assist me. As time went on I managed to come out of my depression and saw hope again. Then on February 24, 2008 my world stopped. My great uncle passed away. I was completely lost and empty. Ten short months later disaster struck again. My mother died. I felt very angry in my heart and blamed God for the misfortune.

On June 13, 2011 my faith was put to the test. My mother lost her battle with cancer. I was angry, depressed, and confused. I totally believed that God did not exist and became an atheist. God who was supposed to love me unconditionally had ruined my life, or so I thought. I started going to brothels, drinking and smoking marijuana every day. Curling up to alcohol bottles was the only thing that got me through the day. I give myself away slowly and in pieces. I thought that I had nothing left to lose. I usually looked in mirrors and saw a total stranger who was tired and broken. I was only 16 but felt I had lived for over a thousand years.

After years of pain, I was dog-tired. On October 22, 2013, I was in a cell for two weeks with no one to get me out. My aunt and uncle inevitably came and got me out. I knew I could not continue down the path I was on. I changed but calamity still came. January 15, 2014, the one uncle who got me out, passed away. The ordeal was the hardest thing I ever went through. It did not make any sense; he was only 33. How could God let someone I loved dearly pass away? I could not take it and my heart was broken with no one to turn to. I was so psychologically worn out and wanted to run away.

My late uncle’s friend adopted me and saw great potential. I started going to church and asked Jesus to forgive me and he did. On February 18, 2014, I got born again. I can’t forget the sermon that transformed my life- Matthew 3:10, Christians will produce fruits. Jesus became my existence as I finally stopped fighting. I can smile and laugh and my brokenness is healed. Because of the teaching, I have a reason to smile in my heart. I have many expectations and see the best in the worst.

-Fredrick

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