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How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You Emotionally

Well… we all know how incredibly difficult this could be.  It isn’t easy.  In fact, it can feel impossible.  Please don’t run for the ‘X’ at the top right of the screen, but bear with me.  I know this is not the best way to start off, but I want to reiterate how challenging this can be.  I’ve forgiven a lot of people, and a lot of people have forgiven me.  Jesus taught us to forgive, and most of us should know this by now.  He is a prime example of what all of us should be.  Even outside of that though, it’s healthy.  How do you feel right now?  Angry?  Depressed?  Frustrated?  Of course.  It’s not doing any good for anyone.  You’re creating a tense situation for both yourself and the people around you.  I know a few people out there can keep everything separate and in check, but I think a majority of the people out there will probably involve someone in a negative way who doesn’t deserve it.  I think most who have been under a tremendous amount of stress can relate to this, and may have yelled at a loved one or said something they didn’t mean.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]


[/fusion_text][fusion_text]You need to remove yourself from the situation, analyze yourself, and realize that you are far from perfect.  We all are.  I bring this up because plenty of people have forgiven you.  I’m sure of it.  Now it’s time for you to forgive someone.  I guarantee that if it doesn’t feel great at first, it will.  Sometimes it can take quite a long time for an emotional wound to heal.  The same goes for any type of physical injury.  The quicker you forgive, the quicker you can heal.

As I mentioned earlier, Jesus is a prime example of what you should be.  He taught us to treat others as you want to be treated.  Don’t you want to be forgiven as well?  This is a prime example of the golden rule.  If you want to be forgiven, forgive.  He knows we are imperfect, but He loves us anyways.  How many times has He forgiven us?  Countless.  It’s a number that some of the most brilliant minds probably couldn’t fathom.  Jesus has forgiven you, and now it’s time to forgive this person.

Lets say this person betrayed you in one way or another.  Trusting him or her at this point would be a bit foolish.  Lift that burden of anger and hatred and forgive them.  Just remember what they did, that you forgave them, and move on from there.  Also, try not to put that person in a position for them to do something like that again.  Sadly, some people can’t help but do selfish, inconsiderate acts.  Regardless, we are all brothers and sisters and that person still needs to be loved.  You know what they are capable of, so keep that in mind if a similar situation leading to this outcome arises.  Hopefully, one day, that person will learn the error of their ways if this experience hasn’t shown them.

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: [Luke 6:37]  The Bible can be cryptic at times, but I don’t think anything could be more forward.  There is way to much at stake to hold a grudge against someone. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. [Matthew 6:15]  This is something we need to remember above all else.  Above all, you should be doing this for God.  He wants you to forgive.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]


[/fusion_text][fusion_text]Forgiveness is going to be a recurring theme because, as a Christian, I think it is one of the most important virtues to have.  This is coming from someone who has held grudges for a very, very long time.  The reason I wanted to mention this is forgiveness is great, but sometimes the results aren’t exactly what you hoped.  Yes, the emotional wound will heal, but there are usually additional results which can be either good or bad.  One individual I’ve forgiven in the past I was hoping to create a friendship with.  The person made a mistake and I acknowledged it and forgave, but way too late.  I waited and waited.  It was a terrible mistake.  This person I would have liked to have gotten to know better made a mistake, so I held a grudge for many years, and that was the end of any chance for our friendship to get anywhere.  I helped heal both of our emotional wounds, but the end result wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be.  Don’t get your hopes up. Just pray, forgive, and pray… in that order. ;)[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

I want to apologize to my readers for not posting anything in a couple months.  I will explain this in a future post.  I’m writing this now, because there is something that needs to seriously be addressed – the Oregon shooting.

We are seeing this all too often – people committing heinous crimes against one another.  Why is it that we treat each other this way?  The most recent one was the Oregon shooting.  It is a shame to see Lucifer creep inside these individuals.  We need to remind people to turn to the Lord.  The Lord loves all of us, and we should remain with Him.

The next time you feel abandon remember that the Lord cares for you.  You have family and friends that care about you.  No one ever wants to experience a tragedy like this.  I know for some people it seems like it’s just a story, because you don’t witness it first-hand, but there is evil out there.  It fills the cracks of hopelessness, depression, apathy, and anger.  Feeling these emotions make individuals much more susceptible to the will of the devil.  Don’t get me wrong, everyone feels depressed or angry every once in a while.  Some people have these feelings more than others, but don’t forget all the good things in life – friends, family, and above all else, the Lord.

Life has never been easy for anyone, and that’s why we turn to Jesus’s teachings.  Through Him we find wisdom.  Remember the Golden Rule – treat those as you wish to be treated.  I doubt that these misled individuals would want what they did to others, done to them.

I ask that you not only pray for the victims and their families, but that poor lost soul as well.  Some of those people might feel hatred and anger towards him, but that just allows Lucifer to creep into those people as well.  Ever since that tragic day those people have been in my prayers, and I hope they are in yours as well.  God bless you all.

If anyone would like to make a donation to any of those affected by this tragedy, I’m providing links below along with a short description of who and how this fund operates.

The Roseburg-based Umpqua Bank and Greater Douglas United Way partnered to set up the UCC Relief Fund. All of the money will help those affected by the shooting according to those who established the fun. People can contribute to it by texting GIVE to 541-214-2822 or by stopping in any Umpqua Bank branch. Umpqua bank donated $25,000 to the fund. U.S. Bank was also kind enough to donate funds as well.

Cascade Community Credit Union also set up a fund to assist people affected by the tragedy. To donate, people can stop into any of the credit union’s three locations.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12

      It’s too bad that everyone couldn’t utilize such a simple yet powerful sentence.  The Golden Rule is one of the most important ideologies to follow regardless of whether one is a believer in God or not.  Just think about how much more wonderful life would be if everyone followed The Golden Rule.  Jesus Christ knew that this is how people should live, and that’s why he preached it.  This sums up just about every law, not only in the Bible, but of most religions texts.  Do not kill, because you don’t want to be killed.  Do not judge, because you don’t want to be judged.  Do not harm, because you don’t want to be harmed.  I could go on like this forever.  There are some who may say, ‘I don’t mind being judged.’  Really?  I find it very difficult to believe that there are those who are perfect.  I’m quite far from perfect.  I have no problem admitting that.  This is why I can’t and won’t judge other people.  There are way too many people casting judgement on others.

One of the examples I would like to use is Westboro Baptist Church.  They believe they are all so righteous and perfect?  I sincerely doubt it.  They have the nerve to say, ‘God hates homosexuals.’   I have an idea – Let God decide how he feels.  God will be the One who judges all of us, not them and their hate-breeding ideology.  I’m not going to say anything judging Westboro Baptist Church, but please think about what they are saying, and the message they are condoning.  When homosexuals or Muslims get attacked it’s because of people like Westboro Baptist Church.  They are encouraging violence and hatred which is something I think Jesus and God would disapprove of.  Please stop hating.  Please pray for these individuals.  Maybe, if enough people pray, these individuals will realize the importance of The Golden Rule.  How do you feel about this?  Let us know on twitter.

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We do terrible things.  We make mistakes.  We hurt the people we love.  We betray one another.  We’re human.  It’s in these times of turmoil that we especially need to look toward a higher power.  We turn to Him for forgiveness.  Everyone needs to be forgiven at one point or another.  See God is so wonderful that even after turning your back on Him you can admit your fault, turn back to God, and say, “I’m sorry” and all is forgiven.  A lot of people don’t understand what a blessing this is.  You may have really hurt someone to a point where they will never forgive you.  They should, but they don’t.  Perhaps you hurt that person because of your own self interest, or maybe it was entirely on accident.  They might not forgive you, but God will.  He understands that we are human and that we make mistakes.  I believe this verse really captivates God’s forgiveness:

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,

Act of the Apostles 3:19

Now whether you have sinned against someone or against God, I think one of the most difficult parts, is forgiving someone else.  I know this can be very tough at times.  I’ve been really hurt.  I believe everyone has at one point or another, but you have to turn toward God for guidance.  You must forgive.  It would be unfair if they were to ask for your forgiveness, and you don’t give it.  I must turn to the Bible once again:

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

If you’ve taken the time to read this, you know how important forgiveness is.  Do you really want to go through the rest of your life wondering how things would have been if you would have just forgiven that person?  You could wind up losing a great friend, significant other, husband or wife when in the grand scheme of things, whatever was done to you, isn’t nearly important as those people.  Thanks for reading and God bless.

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